Disengaged students and Waiters/waitresses

 

I prepared the article below about 10 years ago but archived it. I have been reading posts by Darren Clark and decided to post this article now. 

This is my original post:

I rarely dine out, and when I do, it's typically with just two or three friends. But a few years ago, during a family trip to Port Dickson with my eight siblings and children, I witnessed something remarkable at a bustling Indian restaurant.

We all ordered a variety of breakfast items—different drinks, ready-to-serve dishes, and made-to-order staples like appam, thosai, and roti canai. The waiter, unfazed by our large group, took every detail without jotting a single note. He headed straight to the kitchen, collected our drinks and any immediate-readiness items, then placed the cooking orders. Moments later, he returned and served each of us precisely what we'd requested, down to the last sip and bite.

Undeterred, he moved to another table and repeated the process seamlessly. When our prepared dishes were ready, he fetched them, distributing everything correctly—no mix-ups, no confusion. Our drinks arrived in perfect sync as well. Relying entirely on memory for such complexity? I couldn't have pulled it off in a million years. I've since observed the same feat in other eateries, where servers juggle orders with effortless precision.

It begs the question: Why are these sharp, quick-witted individuals—men and women alike—working as waitstaff? Why not in professional roles, at least in offices? I suspect they were the bright kids who slipped through the cracks of early education, never properly taught to read. Now grown, they thrive in these roles, unaware of the greater opportunities that literacy might have unlocked.

How I wish I could conclusively label them as "shut down" or "disengaged" learners—products of a system that failed to nurture their potential from the start.

My thoughts now:

The above is one of those everyday moments that sticks with you and sparks bigger questions about hidden talents and untapped potential.

The waiter's seamless handling of eight varied orders (drinks, ready items, and custom-prepped dishes like appam, thosai, and roti canai) without a notepad does sound like a feat of memory that borders on superhuman. I've heard similar stories from bustling eateries in Malaysia and beyond, where servers juggle multiple tables like pros. Could 'dyslexia' (or something akin to "shut down/disengaged learning") explain this, and why might someone with such skills end up in that role rather than, say, a high-flying office gig? Could it be 'Dyslexia'? It's a plausible angle—and not just speculation. 'Dyslexia'  primarily disrupts reading and writing due to challenges but it often comes bundled with compensatory superpowers, like exceptional verbal and working memory. Think of it this way: if decoding text is tricky, the brain rewires to excel at holding and recalling spoken info in real-time, especially under pressure. That waiter wasn't just remembering a list; he was sequencing multi-step tasks (drinks first, then ready foods, then cooked items) while serving another table. Studies on "skilled memory" in waitstaff show this relies on chunking info into patterns (e.g., grouping drinks by type or table position), and ‘dyslexic’ brains are wired for that kind of holistic, big-picture recall.

‘Dyslexic’ servers thrive precisely because the job leans on auditory strengths over literacy—listening intently, repeating back orders mentally, and navigating chaos without constant note-checking. One server shared on a forum that after four years in the role, they realized their dyslexia actually gave them an edge in "reading" the room and customer vibes, turning potential hurdles into strengths via memory hacks. That said, it's not universal; some dyslexics find the rote memorization of specials or bills exhausting, calling it one of the tougher hospitality gigs. So, my waiter? Could totally be ‘dyslexic’, channeling that into a memory superpower. Or it could just be honed expertise—many ‘non-dyslexic’ waiters train for years to do exactly this, treating orders like a mental flowchart.

Why Waitstaff, not "Better" Jobs?

This hits at a deeper frustration: these "smart kids" acing memory feats but slinging plates instead of leading boardrooms. Dyslexia often gets misread as laziness or low IQ, leading to "shut down" learners who disengage because traditional teaching (wrong teaching) doesn't click. If a kid isn't taught correctly, they might internalize failure early, opting for jobs where smarts shine without paperwork.

As for conclusively calling them "shut down learners"? It's a compassionate hunch, but tough to pin without chatting them up. Early mis-teaching can absolutely dim potential.