This follows Part 1: The "Teach Malay First" Debate – where we covered Dr. Azizah Zain's push for Bahasa Melayu (BM) as the main language for young kids, the strong pushback from people like Sarawak's Datuk Dr. Annuar Rapaee, and Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim's order to include BM and History in every school, even private ones. If you missed it, check it out here (link-to-part-1).
Now, let's shift from big ideas to everyday stories. Policy is one side; family life is the other. And it often tells a different tale.
Imagine the 1950s in a lively Malaysian town, Port Dickson. As an Indian boy, I spoke Tamil at home. It was the sound of family stories. But outside, things mixed up fast. I played with Chinese and Malay friends – trading marbles, flying kites, or kicking a ball. That's how I learned Malay. It came from games and sharing fruits under trees. English? I knew zero until school. There, I learned it step by step – ABCs on blackboards, words from books. No fancy tools, just hard work and time with friends. By the end, I could use it well.
My wife, a Malay from that time, grew up with two languages. She spoke Malay with her mom in the kitchen. It was the language of home. But with her dad, she used English: reading English storybooks. It wasn't planned; it just happened in daily life. Languages added up, without one pushing the other away.
Now jump to the 1980s and 1990s, when our five kids were born. Malaysia had changed. Houses had locked gates. Kids stayed inside more for safety. Outdoor games like basketball happened less. No more wild play in the yards. We picked English for talking at home. My mom, who lived with us, taught the kids Tamil simply by speaking Tamil with them. Malay came in at kindergarten. We didn't force any order. Things just built on each other. By age eight, our kids spoke three languages easily. English for family chats, Tamil for grandma stories, and Malay for school friends. No loss of culture – just more ways to connect. Their minds handled it like adding blocks to a tower.
Take my fourth son. He's great with languages. He reads and speaks English, Malay, and French smoothly. He studied computer engineering in French for two years in Bangi. Then he went to France for his degree and master's – all in French. He has even taught students English and French for some pocket money. He learned Italian by moving to Italy for a month after having learned a little through videos and speaking with colleagues at work in Nice, France.
My oldest son? He's an IT expert who does voice work. He records ads and talks in Malay and English. His voice changes to fit – warm for Malay stories, clear for English spots. Listen to his work at fadhilluqman.com. It shows how languages team up, not fight. LINK
This isn't special – it's normal for many. In comments on Dr. Azizah's story from Focus Malaysia, people shared similar tales. One person from English schools in the 1950s-60s says their Malay sounds native now. Another from a university says learning many languages makes you smarter, not weaker. They said: "Hold off on English, and you hold back their future. Malay builds pride; English builds chances."
Dr. Azizah means well, especially for city Malay kids who love all things English. But strict rules on "first language" could make gaps bigger – city kids miss world chances; rural kids miss English help. Datuk Annuar Rapaee points out how rules keep changing, confusing everyone. Anwar's plan for BM in all schools is good for togetherness. But add training for teachers on handling three languages, not just strict steps.
Our family's simple truth? In Malaysia's mix of cultures, we didn't pick a "first" to teach. We let life layer them. No gaps grew – just strong links. As this talk heats up in October, the big lesson on "who we are" might be: Languages grow together like tree roots. They make us stronger, not split us.
Share your language story in the comments – let's build on this. Part 3: Reading vs. speaking? Coming soon.
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